If you’re looking for a sign, here it is.
“If you don’t make the changes, the universe will eventually steamroll everything you’ve built so you’re forced to rebuild it the way it was always meant to be.”
It’s not what I wanted, but eventually, it was what I needed.
Good morning, friends. It’s a new week, and with a new week comes new opportunities and challenges. Last week’s challenges are what led to this blog, because trust and believe I was at my absolute wits’ end with this one.
I spent all weekend trying to find something to write about, but truly, the inspiration just wasn’t there. Everything I wrote felt lackluster at best. I tried to write something profound, something helpful, but I kept coming up short. Many deleted paragraphs and the inability to sleep last night led me here. And maybe that was the point. We try so hard to control the outcomes of our lives far too often. Whether that’s through manifestation, prayer, vision boards, or just blind hope and a semi-positive mindset, sometimes life takes one look at you, says “can’t be arsed,” and gives you something entirely different. Not what you wanted, but perhaps exactly what you needed.
Some pray. Some script. Some create Pinterest boards for every event in their lives. Some speak things into existence. A lot of us just lay in bed and hope the sun rises tomorrow and our lives don’t completely fall apart. We all do it differently, but the goal is the same. Clinging to the idea that if we want it enough, speak it enough, believe in it hard enough, then maybe the universe, God, fate, or whatever is out there will meet us at least halfway.
But living isn’t that simple. And life isn’t as transactional as we’d hope.
Sometimes you pay the price and still don’t get what you paid for in the end.
I was reading through my journals that date back to when I was in my late teens, and wow. I was asking A LOT. From myself, from the universe, from the people around me. Because I journal on emotion, and in those moments, I was so sure of what I needed, when, and how. I manifested hard. Journaled pages upon pages about the life I was trying to escape and the one I desperately wanted. The jobs, the relationships, the peace, the glow-up. Sometimes I was vague, other times super specific. I tried to align myself as best I could at the time. But what I got in return was something more like, “lol, get a load of this guy, here’s some loneliness. Here’s a new rock bottom. With a side of anxiety, depression, and a challenge that not even the most aesthetically pleasing picture quotes on Pinterest could fix for you.”
And honestly, it pissed me off. I felt betrayed. What was the point of having hope and wanting something badly if the outcome wasn’t guaranteed?
But hindsight, my friends, is a wonderful little thing.
Because looking back from a place I didn’t even know could exist back then, I can see why I didn’t get what I wanted. I got what was forced on me. I remember how devastated I was after my first proper breakup. I stayed up all night watching TED Talks just to feel less alone in my thoughts. One woman said something that stuck with me. I can’t remember her name, and it’s not a direct quote, but it was along the lines of this: “If you don’t make the changes, the universe will eventually steamroll everything you’ve built so you’re forced to rebuild it the way it was always meant to be.”
That resonated with me so much. And truthfully, I know now that if I had gotten everything I asked for back then, I would have been incredibly miserable. I wouldn’t have grown. I would’ve been stuck in routines and relationships that were never meant for me. I would have missed the rooms and found keys to doors that were waiting for me to unlock them and step inside, my life is completely unrecognisable from the one girl I was and the life she begged teary-eyed for, and that is the best I could have asked for.
This isn’t to say the things I’ve hoped for and manifested haven’t come true. Some have. And I believe some of yours will, too. But if they don’t, please don’t be disheartened. Don’t lose hope. Manifest all you want. Pray, hope, beg whoever or whatever you believe in. Speak the life you want and deserve into existence, but also learn to let it go.
Life is not always going to follow your script. That doesn’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost. Maybe it’s protection. Maybe it’s divine intervention. Maybe it’s just the butterfly effect. Or maybe you’ve outgrown the version of yourself who made those goals in the first place. Sometimes it won’t make sense until five years later, when you’re wide awake writing a blog you never thought you’d have, living a life you never knew you could want. Maybe you’ll be in the arms of the love of your life instead of the weirdo you once begged the universe to bring back. Maybe you’ll realise the version of yourself you’ve become didn’t come from getting everything you wanted, but from surviving everything you didn’t.
Sometimes what you’re calling a derailment is actually the path you were meant to be on all along. And the beautiful, sick, and twisted part is that you won’t even realise it until you’ve arrived. I’ll leave you with that, my friends. I hope this week brings you love, laughter, and opportunities for growth. And if it doesn’t, I hope you find the lesson in it. Hold your head high. There’s a plan for you, but it may not be the one you are prepared for.
Look after yourself. Tell your friends you love them.
I’ll see you next week,
Liz xx
